On Sunday my husband and I took our first (and probably only) out of town train trip of the summer to pick up our new kitten. Once back in the United States, the plan is for him to live with my husband’s brother and his wife as a wedding present (yes, we know we’re awesome), but for now he’s ours to raise.* We reserved him back in June from the same breeder as our current kitty because we not only do we love her, we loved how well she was socialized by the breeder.. They are both Norwegian Forest Cats, which is a large semi-long haired breed of cats. Sylvia has proven an excellent kitty – affectionate, playful and sweet. So when we decided on a second kitty, we wanted one from the same breeder, since we’re still in Germany. He’s her half brother (same dad) and was born in May. They also share a grandpa through the maternal side.
He was named Njord by the breeder, but we’ve settled on “Peregrin” aka, “Pippin” because he is fun loving and appears to leap before looking into adventure. We also suspect he may cause trouble by accident at some point… Tolkein also named his character “Peregrin” in part because he traveled far and wide, and our Peregrin will be going across the ocean with us. Sylvia was name for sylvan aka forest, as she is our first Norwegian Forest kitty.
We set the pick-up date earlier in July, which gave us plenty of time to think about how we’d manage the introduction. First, I scheduled vacation time for this week so that I’m not trying to manage meetings, email, and cat drama.
I also read up on how to add a kitten to a household. Now, every online resource I found suggested keeping the cats apart for a few days. They differed on whether or not to let the existing cat even see the kitten come into the house. Ok… if that’s what the experts said, we’d do it. But it wasn’t going to be easy!
- We knew from experience that it was unlikely we could keep the kitten isolated in a room by himself, where he only had company when we “visited”.
- The breed is generally sociable by nature, and it’s extra hard when the kitten is literally by him or herself for the first time after being surrounded by siblings and other kitties at the breeders.
- While we tried for the first couple months to keep Sylvia from sleeping in our bedroom, this was absolutely not possible the first night, because she was so distressed to suddenly be alone.
- Ok… so he needed a space that at least one of us would sleep in…
- But Sylvia could not possible support being cut off from me…
- And the bedroom couldn’t be his “base camp” because it wouldn’t really accommodate a litter box, food, etc…
So we figured we’d divide the house in two using the door to the main room.
- Sylvia would have the main room, which has her food, litter box, and the all critical access to the balcony. It was also the first space she occupied when we brought her home. I’d sleep on the couch so she wasn’t separated from me.
- Kitten would get office + bedroom, and be able to sleep in the same room as my husband.
- The bathroom is generally closed, and we close the kitchen at night already
I wasn’t thrilled to have to sneak between halves of the house for a few days, especially in a heat wave when the cross breeze at night would be sorely missed. Nor was I really convinced that Sylvia would tolerate being cut off from chunks of the apartment. But we’d do what was “best”.
So I was not really upset to hear the breeder say this wasn’t necessary – let them have access to each other and Sylvia would sort things with her little brother. He would know how to show that he’s submissive.
Our train ride home was fairly smooth and uneventful. He liked being able to pop out of his carrier and sit in our laps for a bit before hopping back in, and snoozed for a good long while. He had a little harness and leash for us to maintain positive control of him. We’d sprung for 1st class tickets (there was a summer deal for fairly cheap) which totally payed off with a quieter space, seats wide enough to sit the carrier between us, and A/C that worked better (fewer people = less heat). We did have to wet him down with a damp towel to keep him cool on the last leg of the trip. But he was a generally a cheerful little trooper.
When we came in, I made sure to greet Sylvia before anything else. We then let Sylvia see him in the carrier first, which we set down in the office as his “basecamp” since I’d already set up litter box & food stations there earlier. Plenty of hissing and growling, after which she retreated to the far corner of the main room to watch. Sylvia was not pleased by our surprise of a new kitten, and was definitely going to keep an eye on this intruder, but also didn’t want to be anywhere near him.
We adopted basically the following approach (for the first day anyway):
- If one of us was spending quality time with the kitten, the other would be try to be with Sylvia, or at least in the same room with her.
- We aren’t forcing them to interact. Each can approach the other when and how they want.
- We would monitor but try not to interfere in their interactions. This has been rendered a little difficult by a kitten who keeps coming to us to hop in our laps.
- “Good” interactions (getting closer, less hissing and growling) would be rewarded with her favorite treats as well as verbal praise.
- But unless she started actually trying to hurt him, assertive growls and hisses, even a light whack, wouldn’t be actively discouraged or stopped.
- I slept on the couch as initially planned so the kitten could be in bed with my husband (which kept him put through the night, short as it was) but Sylvia wouldn’t be forced to choose between being in the same space with him or being apart from me.
- I also periodically carried her into the bedroom or office when he was in the other room so that we could hang out in it, and she’d know it was still her space.
- Sylvia is getting her favorite wet food whenever I feed him – albeit in smaller portions because she just doesn’t eat as much.
- I’ve made sure Sylvia does see me playing with Pippin – I want to ensure she knows I see him as part of the family, so she should too.
- We have one of the Feliway cat pheromone diffusers in the main hallway to help smooth things a bit as well.
- Made extra time for Sylvia’s evening walk tonight to be longer, so she gets time away from him and he gets time to explore and play with my husband without surprise encounters.
Generally, I think it’s working. Cat relationships require a lot of patience, but I feel like we’re making really good progress for less than 24hrs since he arrived home around 9pm last night. She still spends plenty of time keeping an eye on him as he plays in the office from the balcony doorway, about as far away as she can get. But she’s letting him come closer now, and has several times initiated interactions by moving closer herself. She relaxes faster after each encounter, and spent a while exploring the office while he was asleep on the window sill in the office, nosing around his carrier, food, and litter box. She then choose a spot only 3-4ft away to sprawl out and half-nap, occasionally growling at him to remind him she’s boss. I didn’t really expect her to initiate such close contact so quickly. And some of her watching has shifted from suspicious, and on edge, to a little more curious and interested in his play.
She’s also moving around the house in a much more relaxed manner, with tail flag up, and chirps and mews for us.
One funny observation: of the two of us, my husband is the more patient one and I the more anxious. But apparently his strong desire for everybody to be friends and get along is overriding patience in this instance. The growling and hissing makes him more anxious than it does me. I think we’ve made great strides for 24hrs, and though he acknowledges this is true, he’s also impatient for them to be friends.
*Edit September 26, 2020: uh yeah…. that’s not happening. We are totally Pippin’s fur-ever home because he clearly is meant to be part of our family. My brother and sister-in-law have an adorable little Ragdoll fluffy ball who will be going home to them in mid-October.